LIFE AFTER HONEYMOON (2)
Just like the man breaking 7 days dry fast, he dishes more food than he could take, and bites more than he could shew.
It seems like dream come true! Wow sex! Sex without guilt of sin!
He wonders, was pastor really serious when he said am now free to make love to her?
The first day, he almost got caught confessing his sin, but remembered sex is now godly and spiritual!
They did! Did! And did again!
It’s “sex at first sight” in marriage!
Then comes the real sex story.
Days passed, perhaps months.
She wakes up in the morning, after devoltion, mops the house.
She watches the bed sheet (its been messed up), including her clothes with her husband’s.
While trying to sort that out, she needed to cook before he returns from work.
Then comes the permutation of what variety of food to cook (he doesn’t like repeating food).
Came up with one, finished cooking. While trying to rest, comes her husband, rushed, get him food, washes the dishes…tired.
Time to sleep.
Changed to her see-through night gown.
He steals a peep at her,
interestingly, his body begins to react (at this point, the spiritual bro responding to the dictates of the flesh-craving for ministration of carnal things).
(Coupled with the fact that a man gets sexually vulnerable when tired.)
He tries pulling her to himself, but shockingly for him, she resents!
“Please love, am tired” she whispers.
He begs, she begs. Both in desperate need for help.
Though her spirit willing, but the flesh is weak.
Here is the man hanging between the chemical reactions all over his body and her tired wife.
“What will i do now?” He mumbles.
He is confused, shivering, not wanting to be inconsiderate, struggled through the night, with a beautiful naked lady sleeping innocently on the bed.
He wonders, “should i put my body under subjection as single and also now that am married too?”
He is tempted to touch, but she’s not available, though around and his.
His rights being tempted, but put it under subjection.
(Though, the undisciplined ones succumb and condescend to rape at this point.
Excited on top of hurting and tired woman staring beneath him.
He finishes, sleeps off leaving her wondering, “so this is what marriage is about?”
He wakes up feeling guilty for sex with his wife)
It dawns on him that sexual chastity is required forever: both as single and married also.
It’s not his fault reacting sexually, he is healthy.
It’s not her fault being tired, she is a human being.
Then comes her day,
Just couldn’t wait having her lover, i mean her husband all over her.
Sets the house in tune with her feelings.
Then comes her husband!
She hastes to give him food, let him take his bath.
She needs sex!
But he had a tough day in the office.
He is not in the mood!
She feels disappointed, her hormones rumbling, but with an uninterested husband!
It’s not her fault, neither is it his fault.
This is where suspicion sets in, if not well informed and taught.
“Could they be a Delilah, or Uriah loosing his wife to a Dave somewhere?” Someone might be tempted to think.
No marriage can survive without compromise, good one ofcourse.
You don’t please your partner because you are in the mood.
This marriage thing is not always a mood thing.
Less you rock your home through hormonal-selfishness.
Sex in marriage is not always a “pleasurable sex” but sometimes “dutiful sex.”
You do it for your spouse.
Compromise is antidote to clash of interests and quests.
*”Do nothing from factional motives [through contentiousness, strife, selfishness, or for unworthy ends] or prompted by conceit and empty arrogance. Instead, in the true spirit of humility (lowliness of mind) let each regard the others as better than and superior to himself [thinking more highly of one another than you do of yourselves].”*
(Philipians 2:3 AMP)
Paul counsels concerning sex during fasting,
*”Do not refuse and deprive and defraud each other [of your due marital rights], except perhaps by mutual consent for a time, so that you may devote yourselves unhindered to prayer. But afterwards resume marital relations, lest Satan tempt you [to sin] through your lack of restraint of sexual desire.”*
(1 Corinthians 7:5 AMP)
Though it is not a sin to make love even while fasting, but rush back to the bed if you decided not to during fasting.
Jesus would ask the lawful Pharises if it’s evil doing good on a Sabbath day.
Don’t watch your brother suffer in the name of law.
Don’t give satan a loop hole!
Naturally, the man’s libido level is far higher than that of a woman.
His sac craves for a release every 48 hours.
The man wants it more than the lady would.
An average traditional man believes one woman is not enough for a man, because she cannot meet up with the demands, hence considers polygamy.
But that’s ungodly.
Starving him sexually is unfair to his nature.
While as single, he avoids any thing that arouses the urge for sex.
Now married, there she is undressing before him, she gets him aroused, he comes for her, but denies him access and blame him to be inconsiderate.
The man with the highest number of wives and concubines (1000) had this particular Shulamite woman who turns him on.
See what she does:
*”Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth! [she cries. Then, realizing that Solomon has arrived and has heard her speech, she turns to him and adds] For your love is better than wine.”*
She does the chase, he catches.
That’s the secret of the Shulamite woman!
(Even Delilah knows how to make the great man, Samson keep coming.)
Don’t always be the one to be sought for. Everybody wants someone to chase him too.
Initiate romance too.
Don’t put your partner under pressure.
Sexual chastity is your both responsibilities,
Make it easier for your partner to stay faithful.
Don’t impose your styles on your partner,
How you want it might not be how he wants it.
Sexual satisfaction is not all about you.
You do some thing because it turns your partner on. Don’t be selfish.
Sexual compatibility comes with compromise, understanding and selflessness.
For those who had stumbled on ungodly movies showing sexual experiments,
Don’t try it at home!
There are not always real nor natural.
She’s not a porn star! God forbid!
Sex is one of the best concepts in marriage ever designed by God.
*”…may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.*
*a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love”*
(Proverbs 5:18-19 AMP)
Apostle Babalola asked his pastors, if you want to make heaven put up your hands, they all did.
He then added, “ask your wife!”
Conflict management in marriage is a big one!
It’s as important as your eternal destiny.
There are two(2) major reasons for conflict in marriage;
To be continued…
*#TheEncOunter!*
November 26th.
FALLING & STAYING IN LOVE.
